Marriage Mondays

July 9th, 2012 § Leave a Comment

If you want to live, let go …

Awhile back, a friend, a former Los Angeles County lifeguard told us a harrowing story. He was on duty at a beach notorious for attracting a heavy crowd of inexperienced swimmers. During his shift, he saw two large women in trouble. According to him, once you swim out, the prudent thing to do is to take a moment and assess the situation. The reason being: A drowning adult is a dangerous person. On this occasion he could not because he was alone, and one of the women was already going under. He threw his flotation device at the one above water, and went under to grab the submerged woman. As soon as he got to her, she clamped onto him like a hungry octopus. When he tried to tear away, he discovered not only was the woman large, she was strong. He tried to swim up for air. The drowning woman instinctively latched onto the part of him pointed toward the surface – his head. With the large woman wrapped around his head by an adrenaline juiced death grip, he was now fighting for his life. Fear drove the woman to try to drown the one man there to help her.

It’s a good picture of so many marriages. You’ve waited all your life – a life, let’s face it, that often feels like you’re barely keeping your head above water – for someone to come along and rescue you. While dating, you hide your fears and your need for a savior so as not to spook ’em. “Oh, I’m fine. Look, you see. I can kinda swim.” And then he/she swims in, puts a hand on you, and “BAM!” The death grip. Save me! That’s fear talking.

Your husband cannot save you. Your wife cannot deliver you. Your spouse is not the answer. No one can swim with you wrapped around their head. No one.

If you want to live, let go.

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