Hard to Say

April 23rd, 2013 § Leave a Comment

I owned an Air Supply album, vinyl. More than one. The duo from Australia with their fluffy hair and big collared, unbuttoned, white blouse like shirts. Aahhhyaah! I can practically see them in that fuzzed out edge shot with the dreamy, glow lighting. Singing gently, tenderly … really, crying love songs in that range to which only pre-pubescent boys and eunuchs could ascend. These dudes were barely dudes. Really, only technically. Pretty. They were pretty dudes. And all they sang about was love. “All out of love” “Lost in Love” “Making Love Out of Nothing at All”. And I ate it up. Even now, thirty years removed, I can still sing a line or two, or three. NnooOOOOO!

I wish I can say that Air Supply was the worst mistake I’ve made in life. The ugliest thing I’ve done. It’s not. There have been worse mistakes, greater failures. Some I’ve made as a husband, as a father. Something your kids need to hear from you is this: I was wrong. I am sorry. The beauty of kids is that they believe what you tell them – directly or indirectly. They believe what your actions say about them. When something hurts, feels bad, they don’t go to, “Hmm … I think my Dad is wrong here.” No, they usually conclude, often subconsciously, that you must be right. This is really how it is. By confessing your mistakes, wrongs, transgressions you can shatter this “purveyor of reality” picture your kids have of you. If left to realize it on their own, and they will, that Dad made some mistakes, the effects of your ways will have put well worn grooves in their hearts and minds.

Considering how fallible we are, as a whole, fathers seldom say sorry. We find it hard to say, I was wrong when I said that … or did that … or acted like such and such, I was wrong, I am sorry. Sit them down, look into their eyes and say it. Say it often.

And in this spirit, I’d like to say to you all, being into Air SupplyI was wrong; I am so very sorry.

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