Marriage Mondays

December 31st, 2012 § Leave a Comment

Something for the Ladies Part 2

Why not? Now that I’ve gotten the two of you ladies who read this sufficiently annoyed, “Might as well go all the way.” I realize there was no “bright side” to my last post. Nobody wants to hear, “Damned if you do; damned if you don’t.” What can I tell you? You’re in a tight spot; you married a man. Sorry.

If you do not resist the urge to motivate by nagging (I use this word as a very broad umbrella, encompassing everything from masked slights to full-blown browbeating) I say one of two things will happen:
1. Your husband, being so annoyed by the constant barrage will take to flight. He’ll do this in any number of ways – everything from immersing himself in work/other interests to physically removing himself. There’s an ancient Hebrew proverb – something about taking up residence on the corner of one’s roof being a preferable alternative to living with a nagging wife. He’ll take off. In the end, you will not get what you want.
2. The second thing is far worse. He will decide it’s just better to do what you want rather than deal with the relational malaise at home. In an effort to appease the unpleasant voice, he’ll begin to cow to you. “Anything. What do you want? Anything to quiet that voice.” Initially, you’ll get what you want, but in the end you’ll be getting it from a man who will become odious to you. You’ll despise him for being spineless and cold. After gnawing him into submission, you’ll have the gall to wonder, “Why can’t my husband be like him?”

Simplistic? Yes. Descriptive? Gotta tell you, I see it a lot.

Okay, so can I tell you another thing. What your husband needs is you to believe in him. Trust him. I know … I know, Crazy. It’s asking a lot. And to ask it with no guarantees? I have some nerve. But I really do think it’s the only viable path to getting what you really want: A man who loves you sacrificially, willingly. Do it and pray. Really. Pray. Pray that he will be the sort of man who responds to your love for him in kind.

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