June 29th, 2013 § Leave a Comment
The best argument Aaron Hernandez’ attorney Michael Fee can make on behalf of his client: “Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client did not murder Odin Lloyd. No one can possibly be this stupid!”
Oooooh, that’s a good point. That’s reasonable doubt.
Sad. Tragic. Senseless. Yup, all of these and more.
June 25th, 2013 § Leave a Comment
When I’m bent, at least half the time the problem lies with me. Sure, something real initiates the bending: some slight, a misunderstanding, plans gone awry. And because it’s real, I’ll tell myself that it’s their fault. Yeah, them. If they didn’t do this or that … My wife. My kids. Those people … yeah, them over there. If they understood … or if they would just listen. If people would cooperate and get with my program … you know, my idea of what my life ought to be then I wouldn’t be so bent. You know what? I take that back. It’s not “half the time” it’s most of the time. My problem.
Those real things cut something deep inside. A deep disappointment held, taut in fragile skin. Like a balloon filled, stretched thin with black paint. One little something and the spilling out. The bleed of black that darkens the eyes until hope that is already a distant blur shaken by the heat rising from the blacktop of reality vanishes on the horizon. That something inside is inside me.
A few posts back I suggested you as a father need to say to your kids, “I’m sorry.” Tell them you were wrong. Admit your mistakes. If you do this each time you become aware of your fault, then you’ll likely do it often. Good. Now, you can do more. Look inside. When you say “sorry” for raising your voice, you can tell them that often you raise your voice because of other things going on in your life. You can tell them that you misunderstood because you can’t stand to be wrong. Tell them your fears. Share with them your weaknesses.
By saying “sorry” you will strip your mistakes of the power to harm your kids. By availing to them your frailty, you will become a safe place for them – someone to whom they get to extend forgiveness, with whom they get to empathize. And if they can do that … if my kids can see me as no different than themselves, then when I get over … each time I get over my problem, I can inspire them. “Hell, if Dad can laugh with all his problems then so can I.”
June 14th, 2013 § Leave a Comment
Dad, can I get this?
No. You already have two of those and you never play with the ones you have.
Can I get this then?
No. What? What are you going to do with that? No.
Can I get some candy?
What about some soda?
No. We’re going to eat lunch here in a minute. No soda. No candy.
Well, what can I get then?
When you’re a Dad, you end up saying “No” a lot. A lot. All the time. No. No. No! After awhile, it feels like that’s all you’re saying. All day long. No. No! They give us good cause. They ask for unreasonable things. Ridiculously expensive things. Things not good for them. For most children, whatever the eyes see …
I remember early on in my fatherhood, my kid asked me for something. “No” came blowing out of me. The response was spontaneous. No thought or deliberation, the “No” that was already there at the tip of my tongue blurted out. A skittish, snap reflex to the unrelenting barrage of random, disjointed requests. But this time I paused and asked, “Why not?” And in this particular instance, there was no good reason for me to say “No.” I can’t remember the incident, just my pause and evaluation. Maybe it was going to inconvenience me a bit. Or maybe it wasn’t entirely sensible. Can’t remember. What I can remember is the conclusion that I drew: I ought to reconsider.
From that day on I told myself, I’m going to try to say “Yes” as much as possible.
June 11th, 2013 § Leave a Comment
Do a little dance,
Make a little love,
Get down tonight …
Who says, “Disco sucks?” For the uninitiated, this is KC and the Sunshine Band. And they’re laying down some dynamite marriage advice. Get down tonight! And tomorrow night. Hell, get down as often as you can. Not married yet? You won’t understand – just go to another post or something. If you are married and have been for more than a couple years, then you see me. And if you’ve been married ten+, couple … three kids, not only do you see me, you are me. The libido, the force that was once an unlimited, “bursting the dam” reservoir of pent up readiness is receding. Without seeing it, I wouldn’t have believed it either.
I don’t think it’s all about the libido though. There’s something more to it that makes getting down to it worth the work. Ever wonder why we wear clothing? I do. Yup, could be the sociological evolution influenced by religious and/or other restrictive societal mores. I however tend more toward the belief that we’re all hiding something. And clothing is the physical manifestation. Covering for the body as we cover something goin’ on below.
Despite the fear of being “found out,” being fully seen, it’s exhilarating getting naked with someone. Why do we fight the shame, resist the urge to cover up? My guess is because being seen, fully known is such a big part of receiving love. Unless someone sees us in all our glorious imperfection, and then chooses to embrace us, how do we know we’re loved? Sex is more than procreation. Not just something to alleviate an urge. It’s a dance of love. An opportunity to say, “I see you, all of you and I want you.” So …
Do a little dance
Make a little love
Get down tonight … Yeah, Get down tonight!
June 8th, 2013 § Leave a Comment
I don’t like shopping. All forms. Holiday shopping has to be right up there at the top. There’s a background hum of manipulation with the whole expectation driven frenzy of unnecessary spending. Or is that just Christmas music? I can’t get the swollen, sweaty, grinning face of capitalism out of my mind as I run about like a mouse, caught in the “holiday shopping” maze. I suppose the most tolerable form is food shopping. At least food feels like a necessity. Until you’re standing at the line at Costco looking at the $200 cart thinking, “I came in for some eggs. What the hell happened?” There’s a compulsion with buying. Something inside … outside … something saying, “Gotta get it.” And so, like I said, I don’t like shopping.
Leading up to this year’s fantasy draft, the feeling I get about Running Backs is that in the end I’ll be left with buyer’s remorse. I know it. I’m going to be compelled. And yet, knowing this, I’ll still take my early round picks, pace frantically up and down the aisles and grab someone thinking, “Man, I gotta go; this will have to do. Hope it works.” Hope it works! You’re going with, Hope it works with your 1st and 2nd round picks? Yup, that’s what I’m going with. Compulsion buy. Fantasy football says, “Gotta get it.”
Just look at the shopping list:
Adrian Peterson – Will probably be the number one pick. Still just a little over a year outside of major knee surgery. Can he go back to back?
Arian Foster – Is it just me or does the odometer read high to you too?
Ray Rice – Meh …
Marshawn Lynch – Yeah, Marshawn Lynch.
LeSean McCoy – Chip and his new system.
Trent Richardson – Solid back on the worst offense in football. New Coach.
CJ Spiller – Yet to put together a full season. A rookie under center?
Jamaal Charles – Another guy just outside of knee surgery. New coach, new QB.
Alfred Morris – I hate Mike Shanahan. When it comes to Running Backs, I hate him a lot.
Doug Martin – Greg Shiano appeared to lose his team toward the end of last season. Can you feel good about a Buccaneer?
After these guys, you get guys like DeMarco Murray, Chris Johnson, Matt Forte, Stevan Ridley, Frank Gore, MJD, Darren McFadden … Man, I really don’t like shopping.
June 1st, 2013 § Leave a Comment
Don’t do it …
Don’t take that Quarterback in the 1st round. Hey, I don’t care that Rodgers is there at 11. Don’t do it. This year there is a veritable smorgasbord of QBs. What do you like? Pocket passer? Tons. Scrambler? Take your pick. And with this bounty, what you’ll likely get in your draft is the affects of supply and demand. Dudes, very capable dudes will drop to the value rounds, 6th, 7th and below.
The usual suspects: Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady, and Drew Brees will be taken by Quarterback lovers. No matter what anyone says, QB lovers are taking the best available in the first or second rounds. In the second tier are guys like Peyton Manning, Matthew Stafford, Matt Ryan. Arguably, right there with those guys are guys like Cam Newton, Robert Griffin III, Colin Kaepernick, Eli Manning, Russell Wilson, and maybe Tony Romo. That’s already twelve QBs. Yeah, Tony Romo isn’t Tom Brady, but which two would you rather have Cam Newton and CJ Spiller or Drew Brees and Vick Ballard? Matthew Stafford and Ray Rice or Aaron Rodgers and Steven Jackson?
My guess is Matt Ryan, Matthew Stafford, Eli Manning and one of those “Read Option” guys are going to be there in the 4th or lower. I also think Roethlisberger, Flacco, Freeman, and Luck have solid years. I’m not doin’ it. I’m going to bide my time and wait for one of these value picks to fall to me in the 7th.